"Gun" update and my Tuscany Chick(en)

I visited my favorite nurse practitioner this morning about my arm. I had done my normal self-diagnosis and come up with a partial torn bicep. I am not 100% sure yet but thats looking like what it is. She first congratulated me on my weight loss (28 pounds according to the last time they saw me last year). Then asked me what happened,how it happened,does it hurt now, and finally when it happened. I was doing until I got to the "when" question. I told it happened Saturday ....she said "well maybe it has not started to heal back incorrectly being only a few days."...at this point I informed her it was TWO saturdays ago and proceeded to get hit with my own file folder. (be glad they use paper folders) After that little beating, she proceeded to check out the arm....found some fluid buildup and found my bicep to indeed be out of place a little (ya think?) and called around using her influence (flirting) and got me an appointment to see an orthopedic doctor in the morning at 8:30. I have never had any kind of dealings with ANY doctors other than general practice...oh unless ER doctors count. I have had stitches in my head quite a few times...(be kind with your comments). I was in about 1st grade I guess when me and another classmate decided we were gonna rassle.....now this is common happenings on a playground back then so whats the big deal you say? Well we did it a bit different...we played King of the Hill on the top of the slide on the playground....this was not a good choice in hindsight. The slide had a concrete pad on one side, other side was dirt. My opponent went to the dirt side and of course I went to the concrete side and proceeded to break my fall with my head....concrete did NOT crack as some people stated...but my head did. I seem to recall like 6 stitches in the top of my head from that. There was another time in probably about the 6th grade during basketball practice I was going to actually hustle for once ( I have always been lazy..errrrr I mean thrifty with my energy) and decided to dive for a ball before it went out of bounds. It worked, saved the ball but while being so proud of myself for doing so forgot to place my hands just right on the wooden bleachers and luckily caught a loose nail just an inch or so from my eye....more stitches and got in trouble for bleeding on the gym floor. Luckily Mr Riddles let me run my laps for that event AFTER I got back from the ER. Along about that same time, one of the substitute teachers we had made the mistake of leaving the classroom one afternoon. Now being the biggest in the class always led people to think they had to challenge me. That was cool I loved to prove my superiority over them by a good joust.....or betting them they could not knock me down in the middle of the classroom. Now I have mentioned being a prankster before so when Anthony W. decided to take me up on my challenge in the absence of the sub. , I was going to play "bullfighter " and try to lead him into the wall (let someone else get the stitches for once ). This worked wonderfully.....EXCEPT...AW caught my arm before he hit the wall and in my "OLE" movement I was a bit off my center of gravity...now someone with a good momentum, having hold of an arm of someone off balance, kinda leads to a slingshot effect...which lead me to this space heater in the corner....now (luckily?) I broke my fall into this heater with my forearm. I think they were mostly 2nd degree burns...they remembered me in the ER as the stitches were not even out I dont think at that time. I am sure there have been several other scrapes and cuts I forgot about....(like the time I got my throat and arm cut with a beer bottle) ...(6 or 7 stitches in my throat and about the same in my arm)....note to self...ER nurses and doctors do not like for you to try to help put your own stitches in...they will strap your arms down.

Call me the king of randominity...(yes my word and yes you can use it also)..i can go off on one subject and arrive with a completely new one and have no clue how I ended up where i am. I have found a new love.....Subways Tuscan chicken sub....How can I keep from putting the weight I just lost back on when they do stuff like this? This is awesome. Please try it and tell me I am wrong lol.
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Two worlds came so close to colliding today. More on that later...
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Weird things from my world....today I saw a man riding a bicycle down my street with a garden hose wrapped around his neck, I saw a car go by with no drivers side door (no not a jeep), I saw a guy with a truck jacked up and changing a tire with a kid under the truck with him (safe there daddy), and I saw a cute girl at the redlight look over trying to be cool with her ciggarette (impossible) and smile, proceed to drop said cig from her mouth into her lap and dance around trying to find it before it set the car on fire.....I love smokers so much. I love to laugh at idiots who smoke when they try to burn their crotches. And this girl would have been such a hottie without the cig...(un)luckily the car did not burn....she did find the butt under her butt and redfaced and embarrassed managed to look back before the light turned green to see me laughing at her. I dont think she saw the humor in it as much as I did. Awwww the joys of humans and their little idiosyncrasies. I wonder if animals laugh at us as much as we laugh at each other. Does God put people like this on earth just to make him chuckle? He is a wonderous God in so many ways and I thank him for not making me so bland as NOT to be able to laugh at MY problems as well as the problems of others. Now wheres my Super Soaker .....that guy on the bike is getting away.

Ciao (borrowed from a friend)