Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Stuttering cats and male/female rejections

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she
volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become,
asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew
it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff,
Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck," the rottweiler ate him!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 10 female rejection lines (translated)

10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in 'Deliverance.'
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. Translation: I don't want to do my dad.

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. Translation: You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.

7. My life is too complicated right now. Translation: I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.

6. I've got a boyfriend. Translation: I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.

5. I don't date men where I work. Translation: I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.

4. It's not you, it's me. Translation: It's you.

3. I'm concentrating on my career. Translation: Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.

2. I'm celibate. Translation: I've sworn off only the men like you.

1. Let's be friends. Translation: I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's the male perspective thing.

Top 10 Male Rejection Lines (Translated!)

10. I think of you as a sister. Translation: You're ugly.

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. Translation: You're ugly.

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. Translation: You're ugly.

7. My life is too complicated right now. Translation: You're ugly.

6. I've got a girlfriend. Translation: You're ugly.

5. I don't date women where I work. Translation: You're ugly.

4. It's not you, it's me. Translation: You're ugly.

3. I'm concentrating on my career. Translation: You're ugly.

2. I'm celibate. Translation: You're ugly.

1. Let's be friends. Translation: You're sinfully ugly.

Hope everyone had a nice day......or at least survived it :D
Brad

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home