Peter's denial

Implosion can happen slowly or rapidly. In the case of Peter, during the time of Jesus last days, it happened in a matter of hours. The thing to remember from this is that God still is with us and will work in and through us no matter what. Jesus told Peter he would deny Him three times before the cock crowed. Peter was one of the most faithful disciples. Basically what we consider today as our BFF or our right hand man. Peter told Jesus that even if EVERYONE else deserted Him that he would stand by his side. He had good intentions....his heart was in the right place....and his faithfulness was unwavering. He was weak in the flesh as we all are. Many times we have good intentions but no matter what we KNOW we should do, our flesh is weak and we will do things we never thought we would.

After his three denials of our Lord, Peter had realized what he had done.He had completely and publicly denied knowing God. Not a good thing to do for sure. God almost immediately went to work in Peters life though. Back before the crucifiction, Peter had been out fishing with some of the other disciples. He went out to what he thought was a good spot and cast his nets. They cast and cast yet found no fish. Upon returning to shore, Jesus told him to go back to the same spot and cast his nets. Peter having faith in Jesus did as he was told and immediately pulled a net full of fish aboard the boat. Do His will, you will be rewarded. Simple enough. After the crucifixtion, Peter returned to what he knew.....fishing. They went out and as before caught nothing. The next day went to the exact spot and pulled in a boatload of fish. Peter remarked to one of his partners that he felt that was Jesus telling him to have faith! What a glorious message!!!

Peter had denied God openly.....he had even cursed when asked if he knew Jesus!! Yet God still had a plan for him....as he does for us all. Jesus tells us where to cast our "nets" and if we have faith in Him, our nets will soon be full. All it takes if faith and especially once we have imploded in our various ways, must we have faith. He does have a plan.

Integrity

Been a few days away from my book "No More Excuses" but this mornings chapter is regrding integrity. Integrity is defined as a steadfast adherance to a strict moral or ethical code. As a Christian this is very important. We all can be outwardly upstanding citizens when we know people are watching but its what we stand for when noone else can see that makes up a good integrity.The example Bro. Evns gives in the book is Daniel. We all know Daniel in the lions den story. But that was in Daniels later years AFTER he became such a great leader in the government. He had been a faithful believer with hardly a blemish all the years before that. Not many in their lifetimes can say they have half the integrity of Daniel.

I have struggled with my own integrity a lot in recent years. I know HOW to maintain it but I sometimes am weak and falter when it comes down to it and thats simply a case of not trusting God in EVERYTHING. I have given in to temptation in my relationships and had sex outside of marraige even though I knew it was not pleasing to God. I have taken things from my workplace even though I am hardly too poor to afford them. I am far from perfect but I am striving each day to make myself a more faithful follower and struggling with letting God take me and use me however He will. I am slowly learning to not allow outside forces to control me. I am slow to allow Him to work in me but His light is shining through a bit more each week. This week has been extra rough as I was struggling with a person from my past and realized if I was having to struggle THAT hard is it really worth it? I compromised my integrity several times by giving in to things in the past but I feel I am seeing more clearly now and am ready for whatever God wants of me. Continue to pray for me as I struggle with this as we ALL come short of the glory of God but if we strive to lead by example and believe in Him we WILL have everlasting life.

Bear your cross!

As I am learning I have to count on God to know what is best for me and this little set of cartoons from an email I got really fits many of us perfectly. It fit me for many years as I would cut down on my "cross" by ignoring God's wishes and being defiant to him. I guess I thought I was smarter than God.....boy was I completely 100% wrong with that assumption.








Awesome!! We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot.


Whatever your cross,
whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain...
Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call....
He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light...
The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love.



May God fill your day with blessings!!

Jonah's defiance

This morning in the book "No More Excuses" I read about Jonah and how he continually went against God's wishes. Jonah was a faithful servant of God and God wanted him to go to Ninevah but Jonah knew if the Ninevites did repent , that Jonah was "saving" the arch enemies of the Israelites. If they did not repent, they would most likely kill him on the spot. Jonah's decision was to do neither and instead he tried to go over 2000 miles in the opposite direction. To make a long story short, God sent a great storm to "rock the boat" and the sailors of the ship tossed Jonah overboard and the storm stopped. Jonah was treading water and still would not acknowledge that it should be God's way or no way. God used a large fish to suck ole Jonah up and finally from inside the belly of this fish (can you imagine the lovely smell?) he began to pray and God had the fish dump him back out on dry land. Again to make a long story short, Jonah went to Ninevah and in one of the greatest revivals ever, the Ninevites turned from their wicked ways and turned to God!! Sadly, Jonah was still not atisfied and went outside the city and watched from a ditance. God let a vine grow over his head to shade him from the blistering sun and even then Jonah was not content so God took the vine away with the help of a tiny worm, and he let the winds blow and left Jonah in the sweltering sun with no shade. Oddly it never says what eventually happened to Jonah after this.

The main theme in this story is we should not be defiant to God's plan. God has a plan for us all and if we get off track He will surely put us back on track but it might be way behind where we started from. I got off track.....way off track but I know what God wants of me and know the reward is well worth the sacrifices I have to make.

No More Excuses

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins. ~Bob Moawad

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I have begun reading the book "No More Excuses" by Tony Evans and it is already working on my heart and conscience. I have made a habit of making excuses all my life and I realize now this has caused me to miss out on a lot. So many times when I should have just "manned" up and faced a problem I would simply make an excuse. I know now this has to change. I have begun the task at hand and hope to make progress each and every day and with the Lord's help I know I can win this fight against this ugly habit.

Looking inward

I have begun what seems to be a very good book through the first two chapters. It i written by Tony Evans and is titled "No More Excuses:Be The Man God Wants You to Be". I always have made excuses. No denying that. I have always done it since I was a kid. I am "good" at lying. I can come up with an excuse out of the blue that is 100% fabricated and have the ability to not only make others believe it, even I start to think that might have been the way it happened after a while. Sad but true. I repeat a story enough times, its like it really happened. I have lied to my boss to cover for my employees. I have lied to police officers to get out of trouble. I have lied to ladies I have dated for various reasons. I have trouble sometimes recalling what is fact and what has been fabricated. Sometimes I have THOUGHT something and actually BELIEVED it to be true. Such as I may have THOUGHT I told someone something when actually it was just a thought in my head and was never spoken. This is a trait thats common among introverts I have read. This is a result of the introverts thinking process of going over and over stuff they want to say in their head and after so long they might actually think they spoke the words when actually the thoughts are still locked in their brains. This is NOT an excuse. This is an exercise in trying to find out why I act and react the way I do to certain situations and just trying to make myself be the person God wants me to be.

For the ones I have hurt, I apologize. Words on a screen but meant from the heart.

Kindness

I came to the conclusion yesterday I wa not truly letting God take over as long as I was still pursuing my own desires. I know now from actions presented that its time to move on.

Love is patient, love is kind.......

kind
adj.
1. Of a friendly, generous, or warm-hearted nature.
2. Showing sympathy or understanding; charitable
3. Humane; considerate
4. Forbearing; tolerant
5. Generous; liberal
6. Agreeable; beneficial

God's will

I have been lost....for a long time. I am, and always have been, a believer in Christ. I KNOW Christ died on the cross to wash away my sins. I still wandered through my life lost......occasionally God would take the wheel and get me back on course but as soon as things started looking up again I would snatch back the controls. I can see now I have always been a controlling person. A friend told me years ago that I was passive agressive and those words still ring in my head today. She was right.....I do things in a passive manner to hurt people who get near to my heart. Its something I have done for many years and it is destroying me. I can say I love someone but my actions would not show it.......oh I could convince them at first but the ugly truth (my selfish, controlling, jealous behavior) would soon rear its ugly head and I would slowly (or sometimes not so slowly) push the person away. I have done this to some truly remarkable people. I have done this to some truly UNremarkable people a well. I know not what God has in my future but I do know He has a plan for me. I have a "plan" of sorts as to what and I want but I know I have to let Him take control and if what I want is truly meant to be then it will happen. I am willing to lose my "plan" if its not in His will. It scares me but the peace of knowing I am doing His will atones for that fright. I have wandered this world alone for most of my life. God has given me so many chances and I have let Him and myself and so many others down. I pray for strength each and every day to be the man I need to be. I think I am on the right track now and will hopefully expand on this mission in the very near future. It is a scary thing in this brutal economic time to even consider a change but if thats what it takes then I am willing to do it. Please pray for me in my coming days as I see how God will use me.

I am a sinner.
I have failed to live the life that is pleasing to God.
I have been selfish.
I have been controlling.
I have been jealous.
I have been self-centered.
I have done things out of spite to ones who love me.
I have neglected my family.
Doesnt sound like too good of a resume huh? The thing thats wonderful is I KNOW God has a plan and all I have to do is let him take control. God, I am yours. Use me to make a difference. Teach me to love as You love. Help me to feed the hungry and clothe the poor. Let me use my position and knowledge for the good of many. I seek You out. I am yours.

Here I am Lord, take me

Putting on the breastplate of faith

1 Thessalonians 5:8
But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation.
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I had a much needed awakening this morning in a form I never would have thought to be positive but it IS true that God works in mysterious ways. I have been living a lie basically all my life. I have always thought of myself as a good Christian man. I am lost and wandering like the sheep waiting on his shepherd to find him and lead him home. I realize how selfish I have been all my life and am on a mission to find Gods purpose in my life and not posting this for the few who stop by to read but as a public cry for prayer for strength. I love God but am not living IN Him, just living BECAUSE of His grace. Please pray that I find my inner self and find inner love.

I was on my way home this morning and had to head back to the junior college for something. If I had not remembered this stop at the JC, I would not have heard the following songs played on The Message on XM. I hope the artists dont mind me using a few of their lines in the following paragraphs. This medley of Christian music played so loudly in my head and to my heart I knew they were meant for me.

First sing was Casting Crowns song "Does Anybody Hear Her?" which has the lines :

"Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?"

Quite a touching chorus and reminding myself a lot of how I feel at times. Up next was Leeland with Brandon Heath and "Follow You" The lyrics again are so touching to my heart and soul.

"All my needs You have supplied
When I was dead You gave me life
So how could I not give it away so freely?
And I´ll Follow You into the homes of the broken
Follow You into the world
Meet the needs for the poor and the needy God
Follow You into the world"


The next song really was the one which brought tears to my eyes and made me realize I had truly just been going through the motions of life both in my everyday life and more importantly as a Christian. The song is "The Motions" by Matthew West. This whole song is amazing so I hope Mr West does not sue me for using them but the song goes as this:

"This might hurt
It’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care
If I break
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way"

The last song I heard before I had to turn the radio off while making a phone call was by Downhere and the song is "Here I Am". To me this song was basically about surrender. I must surrender to Gods will and quit trying to take charge. I must let Him guide me and be willing to follow. I have many times talked the talk in the past but I have never just let go and let Him work in me and through me. I pray for strength to be able to do this at this time and forever.

"Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am

When setbacks and failures, and upset plans
Test my faith and leave me with empty hands
Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand
I know that You will finish what You began"
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Forever

for·ev·er
adv.
1. For everlasting time; eternally:
2. At all times; incessantly

Forever is a word used all to often to mean "for now" or "until something better comes along". I have overused the word myself many times. I have told a girlfriend before that I will love them forever....and to a point I have. Very few people I have dated do I not get along with still. Theres a few I never made contact with after a breakup but theres also a few I am very good friends with now despite it being an ugly situation at the time. I can be intense. I can be blunt. I can lash out and hurt you. I am human.

I want a lasting relationship.....I want FOREVER. I know its not enough just to WANT it , one has to put in the hard time to achieve it. I have not been good at this because in those hard times the devil takes over my mind and my mouth. I say things to hurt.........I withdraw emotionally........I don't stop loving but its hard to tell. I know in the whole scheme of things that I am where God wants me to be right at this moment. I am doing exactly as God has planned for me to do. I cannot change the end result of what God has in store for me. I CAN pray that he delivers me what I desire. I CAN strive to make myself a better person both inside and out. I CAN be the man she AND God want me to be. I WILL be the man I need to be!!

Coincidence

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. ~Albert Einstein

Love

LOVE
n.
1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance
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I feel this is meant to be read today as I had planned to blog about Faith, Hope, and Love in that order. As I opened my Bible today, in the upper left hand corner, the Book, Chapter, and verse showed John 3:15....how coincidental right? As anyone who has ever read the Bible knows one of the earliest memorized verse for any of us is John 3:16. For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life! What a message that is. To know all we have to do to spend eternity with God in Heaven is to believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior! The simple words above cannot begin to convey the emotions God has for us as His children.

Leviticus 19:18 says "You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people,But you shall love your neighbor as yourself, I AM the Lord."

Proverbs 10:12 "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins." In other words if we respond in love to each other, it covers up sins or offenses that would otherwise come between us.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 " 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

In the original text Paul chose a more rare form of the word meaning love in Greek which was agape which basically translates to a love based on the deliberate choice of the one who loves and not the worthiness of the one being loved. This goes against natural human inclination and steps up to a selfless, giving, expect-nothing-in-return type of love. Very strong words indeed as it is very hard to love someone or something and not expect anything in return.TRUE love puts up with people who would be easier to give up on. If we truly love another we will set aside our own plans, our own life in order to please that person. Love is not blind. We can love completely without naivete. Its hard to comprehend but we can do it.We may notice the failures and shortcomings of ones we love but we dont give up on the possibilities of what they might become. Love never gives up knowing God can change anyone at anytime.Love accepts any hardship or rejection. Love endures ALL.

1 Corinthians 13:13 is an all time favorite and a very oft times quoted verse. "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

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Once a man has won a woman's love, the love is his forever. He can only lose the woman. ~Robert Brault
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Hope

Hope~verb (used with object) to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence. To believe, desire, or trust:
verb (used without object) to feel that something desired may happen
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Isaiah 41:10,13-14
Fear thou not; for I {am} with thee: be not dismayed; for I {am} thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'" Fear not, you worm Jacob, You men of Israel!I will help you," says the LORD And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
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Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation;Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life;Of whom shall I be afraid?

People are always "hoping" for this or they say they "lost hope". To lose hope is a terrible thing. Losing hope means having nothing to look forward to ......no feeling of impending good in your life. I myself have GREAT hope for what lies ahead of me as I know God will work his miracles in my daily life and to some they may seem just minor coincidences or circumstance but I know it is written in God's plan and my HOPE is that this happens sonner rather than later but I have faith it WILL happen. Which is greater....faith or hope? Without faith theres no hope .....without hope theres no future.....if you think theres no future, wheres your faith?

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Avalon has a wonderful song I have heard several times lately on The Message on XM. Here's a little excerpt from the lyrics.

It's a new day
Oh, it's a new time
And there's a new way
I'm gonna live my life
All the old has, passed away
And the new has come
Thank God, It's a brand new day

What a great message this song brings to my heart and such a reassurance of HOPE that no matter what happens, the sun will rise tomorrow and we will start a new day in Christ. Dear heavenly Father, thank you for the many blessing you have given me and please continue to bless my life as you see fit. Thank you Father for sending your son Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. Please be with the sick and dying people around the world and comfort them as only You can. Give me the strength my Lord to face the coming days. In your name I pray...Amen

Faith

FAITH ~ noun~ 1. confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability.
2. belief that is not based on proof:
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Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 23:4
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And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28
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Some people think faith is a strange concept. Believing in something that cannot be seen or touched. Right now if I didnt have faith that God had a plan for me and that this plan was set in place many years before my birth and will not be fully explained to me in this lifetime then I would be in a pit of dispair. I have faith that God will provide for me whatever my needs may be.
Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. ~J.R.R. Tolkien
The road is very dark right now Mr Tolkien but I know God brings a fresh start each day and provides for His children.
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. ~Martin Luther King Jr.
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Noone who happens upon this post will know for sure whats going on in my mind but all I shall divulge is that I have faith God will show his true plan in the coming months for me. That plan may involve me staying where I am or it may send me half a world away but I am to the point I am ready to folow wherever He decides to lead me. I have been stubborn in the past but no longer. I am humbled and laying everything in Gods hands now! Praise ye God almighty!-------
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
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"Everything is possible for him who believes." Mark 9:23